


I love You for Infinity

by aqnikai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Episode: s15e20 Carry On Coda, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Happy Ending, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love, castiel and dean winchester in heaven, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27656447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqnikai/pseuds/aqnikai
Summary: "Hey, Cas."That feeling is gone."Hello, Dean."He doesn't feel anything missing anymore."I.. Where have you been?""Here. Waiting for someone. You."He's truly home now.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	I love You for Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> this is set post 15x20. too many things were left unexplained in the finale so this is my way of coping with it and trying to make sense of it all.

**Dean**

He doesn't get it. He's here in heaven, he's at peace (he'll admit he was sad about not getting the chance to work at the job he'd interviewed for, but he's made his peace with it by now. Mostly.), He has Sam by his side, hell he even has Bobby, the Harvelles, even his parents... So why does something still feel amiss? 

He thinks he knows deep down what it is though, or atleast a big guess about it. He was in denial at first, in shock. Then elated, when he heard Bobby say, "Well, Cas helped." But he never questioned it more and now he regrets that he didn't. He should've asked.. hell, he should've gone looking... But he didn't and now he regrets it.

He regrets it because he hasn't seen Castiel since... since. He remembers the shock and happiness he felt at hearing Castiel's voice and then the hurt and disappointment at realising it wasn't him. He misses him.

What should he do? Sam says he should go looking for him. Should pray. Should he? Will Castiel answer? If Cas is alive, and apparently helped Jack (God?) help build heaven then he must be alive, right? Right? He should try, yes, he will do that.

"That won't be necessary, Dean."

* * *

**Castiel**

"Goodbye, Dean."

That was the last thing he remembered before he woke up in an empty white room. Well, until he turned around and saw Jack. After that everything was a bit blurry.

He remembers hugging Jack, he remembers catching up with what happened after he was taken by the Empty, he remembers hugging Jack again and thanking him for saving the universe, and Sam and Dean. Oh. Dean.

After the initial high of being brought back by his son and then helping him fix heaven, after the adrenaline crash, when it all wears down, and he has a moment to sit back and just be, he thinks.

He thinks about Dean and the way they left things the last time they saw each other. He thinks—

Oh. He's here. _(Does that mean he.. he died? Is he dead and up here in heaven? How did he die? Was it painful? Was he alone? He hopes not. He hopes he had atleast Sam with him.)_

His thoughts take a fresh new turn. Now he's scared, shy. He wants to go see Dean, he wants to hug him and welcome him into heaven with open arms, he wants to tell him he rebuilt heaven for _him_ , he wants. But he's scared.

He's always been unsure about Dean's feelings towards him, he was never fully sure if Dean ever even reciprocated. If he was ever any more than a "brother" or a bestfriend to Dean. So he's scared.

Dean's here and he hasn't looked for him, called for him or even prayed for him. Maybe he doesn't know about Castiel being alive. But he found Bobby, when he finished rebuilding. Bobby must've told him, right? If he does.. and he still hasn't looked for him... Well then. Castiel is right to be scared. 

That's it. He has decided he will leave Dean alone and let him live out the rest of eternity happily and peacefully in heaven. He won't bother him anymore. He loves Dean, so he will let him g—

_What's that?_

Castiel has felt happiness a lot in his life, especially after becoming a family to the Winchesters. But he doesn't think he's ever felt this kind of happiness before. This.. this is something else, a pure kind of relief, the kind he has only ever felt when he's felt Dean's longing for him. The same longing that he felt just now. Though, with an undercurrent of something else he's afraid to even hope for but hopes for it nonetheless.

He rethinks his decision. Takes flight before any doubt settles in.

* * *

**Dean**

"Hey, Cas."

That feeling is gone.

"Hello, Dean."

He doesn't feel anything missing anymore.

"I.. Where have you been?"

"Here. Waiting for someone. You."

He's truly home now.

Before he says anything else, Dean steps ~~and trips on his feet, but that's not his fault. Shut up.~~ closer and pulls Cas into a tight hug. He buries his face in the crook of Castiel's neck and feels his eyes well up with tears. He missed him.

"Dean, I—"

"Shut up. I love you. _I love you_ , Cas. How could you ever think otherwise? I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I'm sorry I ever made you doubt your worth to me. You mean so much more to me than you realise, you know that you stupid self-sacrificing bastard? I tried telling you in purgatory but your dumbass didn't let me speak then. Or when you summoned the Empty and then pushed me aside and never gave me the chance to say it back. Never do that again, you understand?"

"I do. I'm sorry."

This time it's Cas who extends his arms for a hug and Dean doesn't hesitate before falling into him. He feels wetness on his shoulder and hugs the angel in his arms tighter. He's never going to let him go. (He will thank Jack later for everything.)

When they break apart, Dean just looks at Castiel for a minute. There's an overwhelming feeling building up in his chest and he doesn't know what to do with it, so he follows his instinct and steps closer to Castiel. He looks at Dean, a question in his eyes and that familiar head tilt, and Dean feels a heart shattering adoration as leans closer and places a soft kiss on Castiel's forehead. They stay like that for a while, until–

He pauses. "How did you..?"

"Find you just now? I felt it when you longed to pray to me."

"Oh. That obvious?"

"No. Just that powerful."

He looks down. _What now?_

"Thank you, Dean."

He looks up. _For what?_

"For what?"

"For everything."

_Oh. Why is his heart trying to jump out of his chest.. this is heaven, isn't it supposed to be all healthy and shit here..._

"Yeah.. yeah shut up. Let's go meet Sam he's been asking about you."

He turns to walk towards the impala, then turns back again, takes Castiel's hand in his and pulls him towards the car with him. Yeah. He's never going to let him go ever again.

(He misses the warm, soft smile on Castiel's face, the one that's been there since Dean confessed to loving him back. He does look shyly at Castiel and finds him.. radiating with happiness. Yeah. He gets that, he's feeling it too. He's finally happy.)

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> yeah.. so that's kinda it. the title is from jaymes young's "infinity", it was the song i had in mind while writing this btw, because it fits cas and dean's love story so fucking well.
> 
> reblog on tumblr here: https://free-will-zuko.tumblr.com/post/635406335159222272/this-is-set-post-15x20-too-many-things-were-left


End file.
